Hi

I'm starting this blog because English newspaper restaurant reviews have become almost unreadable lately - places are frequently compared to the latest celebrity chef's restaurant (which you can't afford to eat at) and the writers just witter on about nothing, as if desperately hoping that some day, someone will turn up to offer them a book deal and deliver them from all this horrendous food writing.

Example: Times Online 30/7/05

"And the men still exist in clumps of thirtysomethings lying sprawled across chairs and benches (as if they’d fallen there from exploded aeroplanes) wearing white moccasins on sockless, suntanned feet, jeans horizontally ripped at the thighs, short-sleeved Ralph Lauren polo shirts with (I vomit even to write this) the collar turned up and a thong necklace, lots of bracelets, brown-tinted aviators and swept-back hair, smoking constantly, babbling on their mobile phones and generally behaving as if they owned the place, which, upon inquiry, I discovered that most of them did."

So? I don't care about the other people. Tell me about the food! Ambience, lighting, furnishings, okay, I'm happy to hear about them as well. But the fashion sense of other diners? What, you want restaurants to start turning people away coz they look different from you?

Anyway, I'm going to start writing my own easy-reference food reviews. Enjoy!

Updated 21/9/2005: Perfect example of a hated restaurant review in today's Metro (print version only I'm afraid)

"Maybe his lobster omlette isn't quite as luxurious as the Gary Rhodes [a UK "celebrity chef"]version but its a stalwart bunker of a thing...
...A meal for two with wine, water and service costs about £130"

£130!!